I did want to address one thing--outting. People have a confused notion of what outting is and what it's all about.
The whole idea is designed to protect scene people from getting into trouble with their vanilla life because of their participation in our kinky lifestyle.
To protect our scene life from our vanilla life.
It's not to protect your anonimity at a party--anyone who saw you knows who you are. You want anonymous, stay at home online.
It's not to keep each party's activities super-secret--you're talking kinky folks, whose middle name is gossip (like an almost famous person said "once you're through talking about the weather, what else is there to talk about except people?"). People have cool scenes, and they want to talk about them with other interested parties. Nothing wrong with that.
It's not to protect you from the kinky community knowing you're kinky. Being outted to us means your odds of getting your fantasies fulfilled just went up. And your withdrawal at this point is as easy as cancelling an email address and reinventing yourself as a new one (or not; your choice).
The reason we are so tough on it is that it can have devastating effects on people, and it shows a total lack of respect for the person being exposed. Marriages have been destroyed, families have broken up, and siblings separated over such things--many families find our lifestyle an obstacle they cannot overcome.
The same is true for careers--some can handle kink and some cannot. Being outted at work has destroyed more than one promising career. Each individual handles career and family a little differently, and we have no right to butt our noses into those life-altering relationships.
Its also something you must be on guard for--sharing kink can fool you. Where we feel that instant deep connection in S&M, in vanilla terms we're pretty much strangers. So we should always err on the side of caution when faced with our kinky friend and vanilla people together. Things like don't say his/her name unless you're really sure that is really his/her name. Also, act more like an acquaintance than an old buddy (or they get curious why they've not hear of you before).
Labels: Outting
Hey, we're still here. Just busy doing stuff, and having no time to write about it. But I'm working on that.
Clay
Labels: Lack of posts
